Oh, The Swelling

I wrote this post last week, and never published it- oops!

I am nearly (tomorrow) 33 weeks. I have not been blogging for various reasons. But this weekend I had a baby shower, my mom in town for the shower, and we moved to our new apartment.

I left off last time mentioning our upcoming Thanksgiving trip, and let me tell you- if you're invited you should definitely stay with A&W. I am not even kidding when I say that we felt like we stayed at a bed and breakfast. They are the best hosts, and so fun to hang out with. We have already looked at Southwest for deals to get back to Dallas to see them again. After our first night of sleep at their place we opened our bedroom door in the morning to hear the coffee pot beeping to let us know there was fresh brewed coffee, and we found a tray of cinnamon rolls on the kitchen table. I wish every morning started that way! I was feeling like I was coming down with something, and as soon as I mentioned it, Whitney was handing me a glass of Emergen-C. We toured the "Dallas Palace" together, and had tons of fun. I have lots of pictures that I can't show you because I lost the cord to my camera. I need to buy a USB memory card reader, but I just haven't yet. Anyway, thanks to Andy and Whitney for a wonderful time.

Kevin and I got pretty sick somewhere between Texas and Arkansas, and arrived at his parents house feeling horrible, complete with fevers! An ER trip, an urgent care trip, and a bunch of antibiotics later- we're all better! And as a bonus- it wasn't H1N1!

I will save my post about the baby shower for another time, but for now I'll say that some of my dear friends that I have known for a long time made great efforts to drive from various parts of SoCal to be at the party. It was so great having them here.

But the real star of our weekend was my mom! She came down to attend the shower, but she got roped into helping us move, and clean! Kevin packed almost our entire apartment by himself due to my major lack of energy, and the ability to lift heavy items. Then, he and three guys packed a moving truck, and unloaded all of our belongings into our new place. So by Sunday he was totally exhausted, and we still needed to clean the old apartment. I think my mom put in about 5 hours of cleaning. She saved our lives. There is no other way to say that. Thanks mom!

How far along? 33 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: I have an appointment tomorrow, and I guess I'll face the scale then.
Stretch marks? Yep.
Sleep: Sleep is still pretty good except for the 2 times/night potty break. Also, sometimes baby and I disagree on when we should be sleeping. :)
Best moment this week: The baby shower, my friend put so much thought and care into all the details of the event, and I felt totally spoiled.
Movement: Yes, seems like we've still got plenty of room for the baby to roll around.
Food cravings: Yesterday I suddenly wanted ambrosia salad- umm, eww. I did not indulge.
Gender: 7 weeks 'till we know for sure.
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? In!
What I miss: Food tasting like it should. Chinese food tastes like wet cigarettes to me, and pizza still makes me vomit.
What I am looking forward to: Putting away tiny baby clothes. I washed a few things before we moved, and I just love the teeny tiny little socks.
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy the time the baby is inside, it can only last so long.
Milestones: My ankle swelling has reached new heights. I don't know that this is a milestone, but it is shocking for me.

29 Weeks or 11 Weeks Left

For some reason this is the first week I've started to think about time left, versus time passed. And 11 weeks seems like such a short amount of time. And at the same time, my friend Erin's due date just passed, and she still waiting and I can't imagine being there! Confusing.

How far along? 29 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Ok, I'll fess up. I have gained 15 lbs. At my last appointment, my doctor seemed very pleased with this, which in turn makes me feel proud. He set a goal for me for the rest of the time, but said that if I go over it's ok too. But at this point he figures I'm on track to gain 20 lbs total. I'm good with that!
Stretch marks? Yes, yes, yes. I hate them!
Sleep: Still going strong on the sleep front. Last Friday night I slept for nearly 11 hours. I also have a new habit of taking short naps over my lunch hour. I sleep for about 30 minutes, and it's pretty much amazing.
Best moment this week: Feeling Peapod roll back and forth. Now that Peapod is nearly 3lbs, those rolls are definitely felt, and seen. One night I changed position and the baby was not amused, and starting punching, or kicking so hard. Kevin got to feel this little in-utero tantrum.
Movement: See above.
Food cravings: Still lemonade, but I am having a minor love affair with milk- the colder the better. I like to leave the milk in a glass in the freezer for a few minutes before drinking it. Oh, and spaghetti! With meat sauce, mmmmmm.
Gender: We'll certainly know in 11 weeks!
Labor Signs: Nope, but the braxton hicks contractions are getting a little more serious, and sometimes uncomfortable.
Belly Button in or out? Holding strong as an innie.
What I miss: With the holidays just around the corner I am missing wine, and brie.
What I am looking forward to: Maternity leave! My boss and I have not even talked about this at all yet. I don't even know if they will hire a temp for while I'm gone. In the mean time I am trying to organize my computer and files to make things easy and accessible for whoever may be sitting here for those few weeks, at least I hope someone will be.
Weekly Wisdom: The only thing that helps my swollen ankles is drinking 16oz of water every hour, and sweating it out at the gym.
Milestones: This week for the first time ever being pregnant slowed down my workout. I was on the elliptical and after only 5 minutes I started to get a painful contraction, so I slowed down- but it didn't help! So I am officially a walking on the treadmill only kind of girl. Sigh.

On Monday we leave for Dallas to see Andy & Whitney and then we're driving from there to Arkansas. I could not be more excited about this trip. Dallas, here we come!

We're Moving!

Do you remember this? Or this? We're doing it again! By now it must seem like we love oven cleaning, trips to goodwill, and packing boxes. This will be our fourth apartment in three years! The best part about this new apartment? We have a dishwasher, a garbage disposal, and a fenced private patio. We will also be able to have cable again, and it even has a breakfast bar. We are moving further from campus, and though it will be less convenient, it will be so good for us. We are planning to move on December 11-13, which is pretty much the best weekend with how busy things are otherwise. I will also admit that preparing is a great outlet for my nesting urges.

I am starting to pack and clean, focusing on our kitchen first. It's always that thing that sneaks up on you during a move. Books, and wall decorations are the easiest, while all the random things- cold medicine, extra bottles of hand soap, check boxes, etc. prove to be the most annoying. We are moving back into a one bedroom, and this means we will have room for a full size couch! I already have it picked out, and I'll let you see it once it is purchased, set-up, and being used in the new place. We may even have space for a table and chairs to eat at! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure we'll still use our tv stands on select occasions, but it will be nice to actually sit across from each other again.

Oh, and during this move I will be nearly 33 weeks pregnant. Yep. I'm doing the packing, while Kevin will be doing the actual moving with the help of some friends. It's hard to let go of that control, and letting it all happen while I'm at work, and distracting myself with my mom's visit here. But, I will label my boxes well- and knowing Kevin, it will probably go better than I could even hope.

I'm totally stealing this, but it's a great way to give pregnancy updates.

How far along? 27 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: I've gained weight, and you know what? It's not fun seeing new territory on a scale. I don't like seeing it there, and I'm not ready to post it here. If you really need to know, email me.
Stretch marks? Yep. I have very very sensitive skin that does not like to be messed with. I've had stretch marks since, oh I don't know- the positive pregnancy test? No, really probably week 15.
Sleep: Love it thanks to my snoogle. Though this week my body does this thing where during my every-two-hours potty break, I wake up like it's 7am. I sit up totally awake and ready for the day, but it's like 2am. So I grab snoogle, and fall right back to sleep. Can't complain.
Best moment this week: Finding our new apartment, and (this was really last week) buying our crib that we found on Craigslist.
Movement: Pretty much all the time, last weekend Peapod head butted my mom's hand, such a good baby. I love lifting my shirt and watching random parts of my belly jump with action. It's so weird, but I love it.
Food cravings: Meh. I've never been driven by the need for a specific food as of yet. But I will take a huge glass of ice cold lemonade (fresh, not powdered) with extra lemon slices any time of day. It really can't be too sour for me.
Gender: Jury's still out. A friend of mine just gave birth, and her girl was in fact a boy. They didn't have a name picked for him, and he came home to a very pink crib, and some precious dresses. Oops.
Labor Signs: None thankfully, it's too early! But, I do get Braxton Hicks contractions these days, in fact I had 11 in 12 hours the other day. But, they are not painful at all, and I welcome them because they are preparing my body for labor- so bring it. Random- playing Rockband gives me these practice contractions too.
Belly Button in or out? In, and it really doesn't even look that different yet.
What I miss: Advil!
What I am looking forward to: Laying in our bed with our newborn, and just staring and marveling at those tiny fingers and fat feet.
Weekly Wisdom: "sleep in, go on dates, and go out to movies" wisdom provided to me by a mom who was missing the days pre-baby.
Milestones: Third trimester, and we started our childbirth class.

Sort of related- strangers definitely put their feet in their mouths when it comes to pregnancy. I have a friend who is almost 7 months pregnant, and the other day a woman she just met said "oh, are you 8 months pregnant?" My friend said "no, about 7." the other woman then said "is that only one baby?" So, let's all remember to keep our stupid assumptions and guesses to ourselves when it comes to hormonal pregnant women.

Nesting

I haven't blogged in too long, and a lot of that has to do with the insane amounts of energy I've had over the past few weeks. Once the vomiting ended, pregnancy became a very enjoyable thing. Especially with the extra energy. I am not even kidding. On some days I make it through my 8 hour day, go to the gym, and still find myself dying to wash the dishes, do laundry, etc. And the nesting, dear God the nesting. There must be one specific hormone associated with this, and I would love to know what it is. I think Kevin would love to know what it is so that he could eliminate it.

Here's a perfect example: Friday night was a big big big work event for me. The biggest event all year in fact. I had worked for months preparing every last detail. On the day of I worked for 12.5 hours, and Kevin worked for 14. The event involved over 1000 people in attendance, and it also involved a lot of manual labor from Kevin. Anyway, we got home late that night and we were both exhausted but couldn't sleep right away. So we stayed up until 1am, and woke up around 8am the next morning both feeling like we'd been in a car accident. We dragged ourselves out for coffee and bagels. After we ate Kevin was ready to go home and veg. Not me. I was suddenly hit with the need to nest.

I cannot quite explain exactly what it feels like, but basically I am suddenly consumed with energy and the need to do something, anything, but sit still. (As a side note if you've ever seen Stephanie after a latte, and with a sketch pad full of ideas, while her hands get all panicky and shaky as she explains why we should "make unicorn shaped pancakes, right-this-second!" It's sort of similar, but imagine being Stephanie) So Kevin said "are you ready to go home?" And I said "no, I kind of feel like buying Peapod a stuffed animal today." What I meant was "I'll settle for a stuffed animal but I'd really like to buy a stuffed animal, then find a crib, and a crib mattress, and a mattress pad, and build the crib, and set the stuffed animal in it." OR, find a new apartment this minute, one preferably with laundry hookups, and then buy a washer and dryer, and sit in this empty apartment doing laundry in my own machines! While these were the things that nesting was telling me to do, we went to Target instead where we shopped for a friend's baby. Then I barely made it to the cereal aisle before I completely lost all my energy, and all my desire to nest and could do nothing more than lean pathetically on Kevin and whine. I finally felt the way the poor guy was feeling all morning. The events from the previous day finally caught up with me, and my head was pounding, and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for 3 days. I actually said to him "this is how you've been feeling this whole time, and you walked through Target with me? I am such a jerk! What is wrong with me?" But he just sort of nodded his head (probably not wanting to do or say anything that might wake the nesting beast within me). By the time we got to the car I was super cranky and whining about having low blood sugar. Kevin silently unwrapped a fruit leather and handed it to me as we drove home.

The Beginning of My Birth Plan

Did I tell you about the time my doctor and I made some preliminary decisions about my labor and delivery? Well it went something like this.

Dr.: "which hospital do you plan to deliver at?"
Me: "Arcadia Methodist"

Dr.: "if it's a boy do you want him circumcised?"
Me: looked at Kevin and made him answer.

Dr.: "do you think you'll want an epidural?"
Me: "Nope." huge nervous grin.
Dr. "great!"

Yes. I have committed to an epidural free delivery. I feel like this is such a debatable topic. Let me first say that I am not against epidurals. Choosing to relieve some of the pain does not make a mom less of a woman. But I will explain my decision, and why I think it is best for me.

It really started quite a while ago. When I was in high school I was very interested in child development, and took multiple child development classes. In these classes I had the opportunity to watch babies being born in every situation one can imagine. The most impacting video shown involved two women in labor at the same time. One woman chose the epidural, while the other woman chose to be epidural free. At the end of their labors each woman birthed beautiful and healthy babies. But there was a difference. The baby whose mom had the epidural was sleepy (albeit snuggly too). He just sort of hung out, eyes closed and quiet. The baby without the epidural was looking around, and making lots of noise. They did a split screen of each baby laying on their respective moms bare chest. Epidural baby just sort of laid there. The other baby managed to move his head directly to his moms nipple, and began nursing. I was shocked. I had never considered the drug's affect on the baby. I felt pretty convinced in that moment that I did not want an epidural. I also had to watch women receiving epidurals, and I am more scared of that than I am of having the baby.

Secondly, I see the human body as being incredible. The fact that I am working on growing an entire human being never ceases to amaze me. As soon as the tiny embryo implanted itself in my uterus, my body took over the growing, and nourishing of this little person. I have not had to think about developing a heart or imagine bones forming. My body is just assisting the process. I take vitamins, but those are honestly more for me than the baby. I tend to see this as the ultimate test of my body. Keeping that in mind, our bodies have an amazing way of handling labor. We have hormones that are released periodically that accomplish different portions of the baby being born. I think my body knows what it needs to do, and I will just need to endure the very real pain that accompanies the process.

In the mean time I am trying to prepare my body for labor. I know that once that process begins that it will be similar to running a marathon. I am trying to exercise as much as possible, including exercises specifically for toning my "pelvic floor." Every time Kevin and I walk downtown, or I do cardio at the gym I know I am preparing for labor. I am also doing so by eating lots of protein every day, and drinking ridiculous amounts of water.

I also chose a hospital that is known for its low c-section rate, and for allowing women to labor on their own timetable. Our hospital even has "family" showers where I can work through contractions under the warm water. They will allow me to bounce on a ball, or take a walk in their garden as labor progresses. My doctor will allow me to go two weeks past my due date before suggesting induction, and allowed a friend of mine to labor naturally for 36 hours without pressuring her to take something to speed up labor. He also did not argue with me when I said I did not want an epidural.

I still have a lot to learn about labor, and breathing, and positions, etc. But in the mean time I take any pain I experience now as being nothing in comparison to labor.

Peapod

Well, we had our 20 week ultrasound on Friday, greatly anticipating seeing Peapod's goods. Peapod had other plans. Our baby kept its tiny knees glued together. It doesn't help that our doctor's ultrasound machine is ancient, and that everything is a little blurry. We were told that there's a 70% chance that Peapod is a girl. But, after reading about many seventy percent-ers turning out to be the opposite we just feel confused. I even read a blog today in which a couple was given 70% that their baby was a boy. I thought certainly that would be clearer, maybe they use the same ultrasound machine as our office. The good news, no- the great news is that our baby is perfectly healthy! We feel like we were given a huge gift that day just in hearing that Peapod is healthy. So, for the mean time we refer to the baby as "she" but we still feel a little weird since there's still a 30% chance that "she" is "he." So maybe 70% equals "we really don't know what your baby is."

Last Minute Guesses?

With Peapod's reveal scheduled for tomorrow morning, I thought I'd see what you think our baby is. So, boy or girl? Vote to the right. I think I may have waited too long on this.... Oh well!

Sugar and Spice or Snails and Puppy Dog Tails?

This is the week. In 6 days, or (4 business days as Kevin likes to say) we will find out if peapod is male or female. I've heard there's some sort of debate regarding learning the gender of your child. There is a trend toward not finding out the gender until birth. If you ask the pregnant woman in this camp "what are you having?" she'll quip "a baby." The general argument toward waiting is "it's the only true surprise left in this world." I agree. However, after spending weeks vomiting and re-learning how to sleep I'm ready for my surprise now. I figure at the halfway point discovering who it is in there will help make the next 20 weeks that much more enjoyable. Plus, I am impatient, and I want to buy a cute outfit now to stare at, and lay on my growing belly. I'd also like to refer to peapod by an actual name every now and again, and invite you all to do the same. Yes, soon you all will also know the name.

I keep getting asked "are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" I suppose my answer is "yes." I really don't care, but I can explain myself.

First I grew up with three brothers, and let's be totally honest- it was the best. I could probably write a blog series as to why, but I'll save that. I feel comfortable with boys, and I think in a lot of ways it would be very natural for me to play in the mud with my son and show him how to cook so he can be an all-around catch when he's older. I also love picturing him in tiny vans and hoodies, and seeing him watch the original animated Batman series with his dad on Saturday mornings.

On the other hand. When I picture Kevin with a daughter my heart melts. I think he will be a wonderful father regardless, but when I imagine the two of them dancing in the living room, or her falling asleep in his lap I can hardly wait. I also look forward to brushing her hair, dressing her in skirts and striped tights, and playing tea parties with her.

Now, I admit that since our very first ultrasound my thought has always been that it's a..................................................boy. But, only time and my appointment on Friday, will (hopefully) tell.

Punching Bag

During a meeting this morning the little mango growing inside of me decided to get a little more precise with its kicking. Aiming directly for my bladder. Hmmm, it starts early! Though the tiny little thing felt more like pokes or tickles than full fledged kicks.

18 Weeks- Sweet Potato

At 18 weeks baby is the size of a sweet potato. I hate sweet potatoes. I mean I really really dislike them. They are simply a starchy vehicle for delicious roasted marshmallows at thanksgiving. I also can't even look at a sweet potato right now so I opted for the soda can size comparison for this week's picture to the right. I use a fun site to check out the size of my baby as we wind our way through the produce section.

Today I decided that I have to meet my crunch cravings with trail mix- including raw almonds and no salt nuts. "What helped me decide this?" you may ask. Well my friends that would be my cankles. Yes, my swollen ankles that I can push a finger into and leave an imprint. All it took was a handful of crackers! I am just thankful we aren't living close to McMenamins right now, because I could seriously go for some cajun tots. Those delicious little bad boys are covered in salt. Oh well. My energy and appetite are finally returning- my tummy is growling while I can smell the brown rice cooking, and salmon baking. I thought I would never get back to a place of opting for food at-home or something other than jamba juice. On that note it takes a lot to eat well during pregnancy. You need a ton of protein, have to avoid salt (boooo!) try to ignore that little voice that says to eat two huge bowls of ice cream instead of one small bowl. Once the appetite hits, oh man watch out! I have been doing pretty well though, and have gained just the right amount of weight.

I can feel our little one wiggling as I type this, and this is definitely my favorite part of pregnancy thus far. At first I thought it would freak me out when it happened. I mean you never feel your insides moving independently, you know? But it turns out, it's a great reminder that baby is there and happily growing ever day and now probably weighs around 7 oz.!

The Other Man

A few posts back I alluded to something I had ordered online. Well that something is the Snoogle. It's a pregnancy body pillow that is a wonderful indulgence. I've had trouble with sleep in the past, and I knew that working around an ever growing belly would affect my sleep that much more. I read some reviews, and found the Snoogle to be the most worth the money spent. Body pillows are expensive, but it is totally worth it! I am a tummy sleeper, but now those days are gone. and I'm even at the point now where I am supposed to sleep only on my sides and not on my back. When I roll over it either wraps around behind me, or in front of me. Plus I don't have to readjust extra pillows all night (between the knees, under the belly, behind the back etc.). I imagine the Snoogle will only be more of an asset as the months tick by. I really can't recommend it enough. We are going away this weekend, and I am dreading two nights without Snoogle. We call it the "other man" because it's so big, and is literally between us.

At my appointment last week, things were pretty routine- pee in a cup, get weighed, have blood pressure taken, wait on noisy paper covered exam table to see the doctor. I love my OB- have I mentioned this before? We talked about how I am still throwing up, and he said "I am so sorry you're going through that." Wait what? Not, "well that's just what some women experience" or "I'm sure it will pass soon." All you really want as a pregnant woman is a little understanding, and that is just what he gave me. He really is awesome. We heard the baby's heart beat (150bpm) and this time it sounded like barking.

Speaking of baby, at week 17 she or he is getting baby fat! My favorite part. I can't wait to hold his or her fat little feet in my hands, and kiss every little baby fat roll.

The other funny thing we determined is that I have a serious case of "white-coat syndrome." I'm pretty sure I inherited my doctor's office nervousness from my dad, and my low blood pressure from my mom. If they take my bp at the beginning of the appointment it's something like 193 over 40, which is alarming. At the last appointment they took it a second time after I saw my doctor for a reading of 170 over 20. Much better. I think from now on they will be taking my bp at the end of the appointments.

Our next appointment is September 18 (only 23 days to go!) and we will get to find out the gender!!!! We will also get a closer look at baby's heart, brain, fingers and toes. I can't wait. We are very excited regardless of what the gender of our baby is, but I have had a feeling toward one side since we found out I was expecting. We'll see if I'm right!

Week 15/16 and a Special Surprise

Since I began the second trimester my vomiting increased. But the all-day nausea has nearly disappeared. I still have food aversions, and get very very angry at buffets that run commercials at 7am. I don't want to see a Salisbury Steak topped with onions and gravy while I eat cereal!

Happily, I felt the baby move this week! It was so strange. It felt like a little tiny tickle on the inside. It makes me currently imagine the baby as a sea monkey. Specifically a skinny brown monkey wearing pink floaties on each arm. Not like the rip-off sea monkey farm my friend sent away for in 4th grade. The "sea monkeys" arrived in a packet, all dried out. Not at all like the crazy dancing and swimming monkey's from the commercial. Anyway, I love feeling him or her swimming around, and every once in a while bumping into me. I even poked it the other day, and it kicked back, so precious. I wasn't quite expecting to feel movement yet, but it was a nice surprise!

I find it fun, no matter how useless, to try and guess the gender of our baby. The Chinese gender prediction chart says girl, but the thread and needle over the wrist says boy. If you don't know what these are, google them and you will find a whole world of quizzes, charts, old wives tales etc. to determine the sex. I think I'll wait for the ultrasound.

My next appointment is Friday, and I am excited though sad that I have to wait for the next appointment to know who it is that's swimming around in there!

SYTYCD

I really enjoy watching "So You Think You Can Dance." Or, should I say that I "did." The last couple of seasons have left me with memorable moving, emotional, funny, beautiful dances that I haven't forgotten. This year? Is it just me, or do these finalists do the same solos over and over and over? Nigel Lythgoe keeps trying to convince us that this is the "best group of dancers we've ever had on the show, and did I mention that we were nominated for 75 emmys? And can you believe what this show has done for dance? If it weren't for my brilliant television show about dance America would be cultureless! Please thank me with silk pocket squares, and possibly even larger white veneers."

He can try to convince me, but I know better. Twitch? Joshua? Hawk? Katie? Should I go on? These were some of the best dancers the show has produced. But this season my suspicion is that the choreographers are stretched too thin as they are already preparing for their first ever Fall Premiere. I also suspect that at this season's auditions the best dancers were held over for said Fall season that it might be their best season ever. And this Summer season? Makes those of us SYTYCD faithfuls lose heart in the mediocre performance of the dancers. And don't get me started on Mary Murphey and her "hot tamale train" she is enough to make me quit the show all together.

And to the four finalists: Brandon- would you at least pretend to think there is something you could learn? Oh, and put your shirt on. Evan- I like you, and your sad eyes. I think there must be some sort of following of homeschoolers who are campaigning for votes and keeping you in. Enjoy this time. Jeanine- You are an average dancer and I am beginning to think you are only getting votes because of your body. I have seen no progress in your dancing. And don't forget, your dad is watching and may not want to see your body in gold rubber, just a thought. Kayla- I think you are the best dancer on the show. You deserve to be on a season with better peers. I hope you will win, but I don't vote, so what do I know?

The News Is Out

Please scroll down to June 4 to see the first of a few secret blogs I wrote while I was waiting to make it to 12 weeks in pregnancy. I can't remember what I've said in previous posts, but as of today's ultrasound my new due date is February 3, 2010!

"Morning" Sickness Still Going Strong

WARNING: This is a semi-graphic post involving vomit- you've been warned. Feel free to skip the following paragraph.

It finally happened, I threw up at work. I made it to the ladies room, but it was still a personal nightmare. Luckily we have a restroom that is a single, with a locked door. I ran in, turned the water on and went to town. It was especially fun, a carrot chunk flew through my nose. Vomiting while pregnant (for me) is totally different than with let's say the stomach flu. When I've had the flu, there are extra stomach acids breaking down what I've eaten. Well now, I throw up food in the same state I swallowed it. Yes, disgusting. Especially if I did not drink a ton with the meal, it is almost like slow motion at times. Sorry but I want to be detailed for ladies who are considering pregnancy. Also, as I approach week 12, just two days away, I can suddenly "feel" my baby. It's actually my uterus, but when I lay on my stomach it's definitely there, and the bump has definitely started. It's really nice to know that the little one is there and growing rapidly.

Before I threw up, I called Kevin and said "I need my Zofran" and hung up. After that was over, I told my boss that I was headed home for the remainder of the day. I took a two hour nap, and then called to refill my Zofran prescription because I was still feeling very queasy. After calling I discovered that there was a little miscommunication regarding refills. So I had to wait on the pharmacy contacting my OB for a new prescription. Three hours later I finally had the prescription in hand. Lesson learned: never let the Zofran prescription lapse. I am hoping that sometime soon I will be over the "morning" (give me a break!) sickness. It would be great to never refill, but if I get down to one pill, I will be calling my pharmacy immediately.

Almost 11 weeks

In two days I will be 11 weeks pregnant. Lately my nausea has continued, and I feel exhausted in the evenings. I recently had to take my Zofran four days in a row, which I was not happy about.

I crave fruit all. the. time. Seriously. I could not be more happy that it is Summer and the selection of fruit is abundant. I want apples, bananas, grapes, cherries, peaches, nectarines, strawberries, blackberries, well you get it. I am not friends with other food right now, unless it is spicy thai food. Yum! I also cannot stand food smells/descriptions. I mute the tv and turn my head during certain commercials I can't write about for fear of vomiting. I am so tired by dinner that I can barely bring myself to boil water. It is pathetic. Kevin has been a life saver doing dishes, laundry, cooking, dealing with my whining, etc.

I am not wearing any maternity clothes yet. Though depending on the day I sometimes keep my pants unbuttoned. It's mainly due to bloating at this point. I think certain friends/co-workers may think I have simply stopped caring about exercise/eating right. The irony is that I have lost weight, not gained thus far.

It's very difficult to be tired all the time, and not feel like myself. But the worst has been my memory! I recently read the word "grapefruit" and didn't know what a grapefruit was. I had to think for a little while to remember.

I take five pills a day- 2 calcium supplements, a B-complex, a DHA supplement, and a prenatal. Sometimes I have a hard time, and have to try twice before I can swallow some of these giant pills.

Next week is our 12 week appointment. We will get to hear the heartbeat again, but this time via doppler instead of ultrasound. If all goes well at the appointment I plan to drop the bomb, via facebook, here, and in person with those in close proximity. In the meantime I am trying to work up the courage to tell my boss.

Sorry that this post is a bit list-like, I want to record as much as possible. Plus I can barely keep my eyes open.

Also, I will soon dedicate a post to a certain item I ordered online that arrived today.

A Lesson in Sharing

For the last 2 weeks, and the next 3(!) Kevin is in class Tuesday/Thursday from 5pm-9pm. I get off work at 5pm, so you can imagine how much I love this schedule. I try to visit him on my way to the gym (because I have no excuse not to go when he's not here). The past few classes I have managed to walk onto campus at the perfect time as his professor dismisses him for a short break. So tonight I waited on campus, and there was no Kevin.

While I waited I thought about buying a Dr. Pepper from a vending machine (ok, you weird health conscious, organic only, perfectly balanced diet people who read my blog. I was craving a Dr. Pepper, ok? I think you probably crave gross things too). So I looked in my purse- I had a dollar, score! The soda was 90 cents. Then I saw a Pepsi staring at me. Kevin loves Pepsi, and I never let him get it (being the hypocrite that I am). So, I thought it would be so nice of me to buy him a Pepsi. I dug in my purse and found 70 cents. If I bought him a Pepsi I would have 10 cents change, which added to the 70 left me 10 cents short of a Dr. Pepper. I decided to buy him the Pepsi. I reached into the little change drop and found my dime, and a nickel! I looked at the candy bar machine to the right and reached into its change drop, another nickel! This brought me to exactly 90 cents- enough for my Dr. Pepper. I don't want to over spiritualize it, but I think sometimes you are rewarded for putting others before yourself.

Peanut

Here's our little baby at 8 weeks 1 day! Just hanging out upside down. So who do you think s/he looks like? Me or Kevin?

We had our first appointment, and it went really well. We even got to hear the amazing "swoosh swoosh" sound of its heartbeat. I like our Doctor a lot. He is a very laid back guy, and comes highly recommended from close friends. The walls of his exam rooms are plastered with photos of the babies he's delivered. Our visit was simple. The only difficult part is trying to understand the pamphlets on prenatal testing. We have to decide what/if we want testing for downs syndrome among a few other conditions. If you want to know what we decided, please feel free to ask me privately.

Week 7

Week 7 of my pregnancy has not come without a bit of commotion and excitement. On Monday night (June 15) I ate dinner and vomited twice. On Tuesday I left work at 12 with a massive headache. After a three hour nap, I woke up nauseous and hungry. I ate a little something, and the vomiting began. I think I vomited on and off for the next 6 hours. I tried taking Dramamine to calm my belly but couldn't. I couldn't even keep down water. On Wednesday morning I tried to sip a little water, and the vomiting continued. By this point I had not had any fluids since 2pm the day prior. We called my doctor, and were sent to urgent care. I was given two bags of saleen, and some anti-nausea medication via IV, and told that I have Hypermesis Gravidarum. Doesn't that just sound fun?? I basically have severe pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting.

I know that this is a general description, so I want to try and explain what this feels like. In the weeks prior to week 7, I had all-day nausea that was annoying, but not awful. This new nausea is a beast. As soon as it begins I feel like the whole world is rocking, and my stomach feels like I have a horrible stomach flu (you know the feeling where your stomach turns sour, hurts, and you know you are about to throw up?). Well, once I start throwing up, it just gets worse, the pain increases, the moving sensation worsens, and I literally cannot stop throwing up. While we waited in urgent care, Kevin would place his hand gently on my back which would nearly send me over the edge. It was awful. The good news is that I have a prescription for Zofran (the medication I received in the hospital) and our insurance actually covers it! Thank God. Because I had to take it again this morning.

Last night we saw "Away We Go." It is a wonderful movie, and one that I highly recommend. Particularly if you are expecting a baby. I don't really want to ruin it, but it was so timely, and an all-around beautiful, funny, touching, and well-acted movie. We saw it with our friend (who is 8.5 months pregnant) and her husband.

This morning after taking my Zofran and getting over my little episode we went out for bagels and coffee. (which, as a side note- let me be honest here, I am not giving up coffee. You may now be concerned that my little one will have an extra leg because of this. But I only drink about 4oz. of coffee on weekdays, and the occasional small latte or mocha on the weekend. I actually crave coffee, and it's my personal choice). We then went to a Goodwill Bookstore to look for children's books. I was very happy to find a Fraggle Rock counting book, "The Pokey Little Puppy," and a couple of Sesame Street, and Whinnie the Pooh books. We got 8 books for $4. Not bad.

I will be 8 weeks tomorrow, and looking forward to my first OB appt. and ultrasound on the 26th.

Pregnant! Pregnant?! Yep, Pregnant.

So, yes I peed on the thing to the left. Gross to you, but thrilling for me! I can't believe this happened. I mean I can but I can't. Anyway I saw two doctors already this week. Doctor "A" was an absolute nightmare. After waiting 2 hours (at a family practice, not the ER) I was seen for 5 minutes, during which he took a call on his cell. I asked him a question about whether or not it would be safe to go to Disneyland early in my pregnancy and he said "I wouldn't, but I don't know how much you want this pregnancy." ANYWAY, moving on to Doctor "B" she was fantastic! She was very happy to see me, excited that this is my first pregnancy, gave great information and told me to call her any time. She confirmed my pregnancy and wrote the ever essential referral letter allowing me to go to the OBGYN. My first appointment there will be on June 26.

So, here's how I found out I am preggers.

Over the week of May 25-28 I was up in the Bay Area visiting my parents. On May 24 (Sunday) I ate some eggs, and promptly threw them up. I thought nothing of it, except that maybe I ate bad eggs. While in the Bay Area I was fine, a little fatigued on some days, but on the day of my flight home I was exhausted. I went out for lunch with my mom and Stephanie, and it was my second meal that week in which I turned down sushi due to an upset tummy. After our yummy lunch of crepes, I threw up. In the restaurant bathroom. Awkward. Then I was so tired I just wanted to sleep for hours. By this day (thursday) I was a day or so late on my expected monthly visit. That night I told Kevin about some odd symptoms I was experiencing. He suggested I take a test the following morning. Well, Friday morning I chickened out. By Saturday morning(May 30) I had spent the entire night dreaming about taking the test (positive in every dream) and needing to pee so bad. The box said to use first morning urine, and I could hardly sleep. Finally at 4:45am I decided I couldn't wait any longer. I went to the bathroom and took the test. They recommend you wait 3 minutes for a result, and my test showed positive before I could count to 5. I was shocked. I got back into bed, and Kevin asked what was going on. I looked at him and said "I'm pregnant." To which he said "right now? you're pregnant right now?" I said "yes." He pulled me onto his chest and said "I'm so excited, I love you." Good answer. We couldn't fall back to sleep and spent the next hour and a half laying in the dark talking. That is also when I took this picture on my phone.

Office Confrontation, or Why You Should Never Yell at Melody's Pregnant Friend

I would apologize for not having written in nearly two months, but onward and upward, I'm here now.

Anyway, on Wednesday I had a bit of a showdown in my office. For some context:
I work in a housing office, and even though I don't actually work for housing (I know this is confusing, I can explain if you really want me to) the housing staff are my coworkers who I spend 40 hours with each week. We have some residents who are on a sort of a "black list" with us, in other words they either never pay their rent, or they have unending complaints, or they are down right rude jerks.* One such jerk* has raised his voice to nearly every person in our office on one occasion or another. He really yells a lot at my coworker/and friend who happens to be 7 months pregnant.

On Wednesday this man paid us a visit. As soon as I saw him, I watched his every move because of the way he has treated her previously. They exchanged words, and after she told him that she "did not appreciate the way he was talking" to her, she told him she would not argue with him, and that he needed to leave. At this point he said "look, you are here to serve me...."

This was, shall we say: the wrong choice of words. I stood up, and told him that she is not there to serve him, and that what he was asking her to do was well beyond the realm of service we provide. He did not like me standing there. He asked me why I was talking to him, and told me I did not need to be "crappy" to him. I told him that I was talking to him because he was mis-treating my coworker. He proceeded to yell at me, and kept asking me why I was talking to him. Every time he would ask me a question, he would talk over me as soon as I spoke. I told him that he obviously did not want to have a conversation with me, as he talked over my every word. I told him that I would not respond to him any more. He then asked me why we would not do what he wanted (a question I had already responded to, but he talked over me). So, I kept my word of not responding (at least not verbally) I crossed my arms and stared straight into his eyes. If you know me, you may be familiar with my ability to turn cold in 5 seconds flat, and that is just what I did. I kept my eyes fixed on his and stared at him silently as he asked more questions.

Finally he said "Oh, I know what's going on here, I get it." And I said "Yeah, what's that?" And he had nothing to say, and left. Let me just say that I had nothing to lose with this particular person, and as he left I prayed and hoped that he would report me to my boss. Unfortunately for him we are school housing and his absurd behavior is going to effect his academic life and how much longer he will be living in our housing.

It's pretty sad when a man who is twice my age yells at a pregnant woman.


*feel free to insert your own expletive here

Can You Do That?

Lately "recession-talk" seems everywhere. I don't know about you, but I am watching co-workers get laid off left and right. Every day Kevin and I wonder how much longer they will keep me. I am not worried about it, because I can't be until there is something to worry about, you know? Anyway, I read this article the other day, that made me think. You can read it here.

After I read this, I had to know how much Kevin and I are spending each week on food. So I went to the handy dandy "my spending report" at wellsfargo.com. Turns out we are spending a little over $80/week on groceries. So, we're not doing horribly, but that article made me wonder if we could be doing better. Last month Kevin and I decided to seriously budget towards the end of the month. We didn't set any specific limitations for ourselves and it was before I'd read this article. I had so much fun being creative with the food we already had. I used more canned veggies, and took a second, third and fourth look at all my frozen and dry goods. By the end of the month we avoided going to the grocery for two weeks straight!

This week I decided to meal plan, ok so I did it in church on Sunday. But honestly, the pastor was talking about a little tree, and a little bee (or was it a butterfly? or a bird? I don't know). I wasn't tracking with him, and my mole skin was calling my name from my purse. I thought about the food we had at home, as well as a few things to pick up at Trader Joe's, and I planned the week. It's Thursday, and usually by today I have convinced Kevin to go out at least once. But this week, I've cooked every night, and I even have recipes that I want to use this weekend.

Finally in my job we have been brainstorming ways that we can encourage Community Coordinators to plan events where residents can share resources. For example I love the idea of hosting a "free-day" kind of like a garage sale, but where everything is free. Recently we have shared our car with friends, been more intentional about inviting friends to eat with us, and cooking for other families. Last weekend I cleaned out our closets and drawers for donation. Now the trick will be not going out and re-filling the closets with unnecessary new clothes.

I have also found this book to be especially helpful on this very topic. To be continued.

Happy Valentine's Day

Kevin and I decided (at least I thought we had) to not celebrate Valentine's Day this year. It's not that we think it's a silly holiday, but rather we have another special day that is very close to it. February 12, 2005 was the day of our first date. So on Thursday, the 12th Kevin arrived at my work with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I felt very loved, and special. But then, on my lunch break he gave me a card. It was so sweet, I cried. We planned our weekend in such a way as to avoid crowds. So, of Friday evening we stocked up on food and even bought a new waffle iron for this morning. When we came home from our shopping, Kevin informed me that he had another small gift for me. I closed my eyes and waited, until he brought out a box of chocolates. This was no ordinary box of chocolates. He bought an entire box of See's Butterscotch Squares! They are my favorite See's truffle, and I have often dreamt of having a whole box of just Butterscotch Squares. Somehow Kevin remembered this, he is too good. I thought "wow, I suck. He has already surprised me three times, and I didn't even buy him a card." Well this morning when I woke up I was looking forward to opening a card from my other Valentine, my dad! Which by the way, my dad has given me a Valentine's Day card every year for as long as I remember! (If you're the father of a daughter, you should really ask him for tips- he's been the best dad a girl could ask for.) Anyway, when I picked up my dad's card, beneath it was a red envelope with a card from Kevin! So this morning I read both cards, both of which made me teary again. So, Kevin-4, Melody-0. Well, I did make homemade waffles this morning so maybe that's Melody-1. I hope you all feel loved today!

Happy Birthday Jackson Pollock

Today is Jackson Pollock's birthday, and you can celebrate by going here and making your own Jackson Pollock style painting. Just move your mouse over the white screen, click your mouse to change the color of the paint. I had way too much fun doing this. Now I am going to drink some coffee or go to bed. This week my body has decided that by 5:00 it is done, and ready for bed. It tells me this by giving me a giant headache as soon as I get home from work. Doesn't it know that after work is playtime?!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

On Friday, I left work at noon. I had some comp time, and so I made my shortened week even shorter. I was really looking forward to a date night with Kevin, and that's what we had. We ate dinner at a tasty and cheap happy hour, and then we went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I had been wanting to see the movie for quite some time, and I convinced Kevin that it would be worth the money spent (why do movies tickets cost as much as a tank of gas?). I won't say anything about the movie, except that it deserved the 13 Academy Award nominations it received. But you should also read F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story that the movie is based on.

While the movie was great, the actual movie-going experience was even more interesting. Imagine with me, if you will the following.

We arrived about 30 minutes before the movie was set to begin. The theatre employees were cleaning the theatre, and so a large group of us waited for the doors to open. I was surprised to see how many people arrived early. Some of the crowd was restless. A woman and her son walked up to Kevin and I, and another couple standing near us (we were at the front of the line), and she asked us "did someone tell you that we can't go in?" We explained that the room was being cleaned. I wanted to say something more rude to her, insulted that she would question why we were staying outside. But I didn't. Thank God. One woman got tired of waiting and just walked right into the theatre. I thought it was funny, because the employees walked out about 1 minute later. Little did I know that that impatient lady would majorly influence my entire experience that night.

We chose two seats sort of in the middle of the theatre, and only one row in front of the impatient lady. 7:00 on Friday night is apparently the time to see a movie, because the theatre filled up very quickly. A couple sat down to my left, and we all settled in for the previews. During the previews impatient lady would clap- for example, she clapped for a commercial for the Marines, she clapped during a preview for a movie in which Jaime Foxx is starring. She clapped every time his face popped onto the screen. After his preview she exclaimed "Yaaaaaayyyy!" The movie began and her clapping had stopped.

About 30 minutes into the movie I smelled food. Not movie food. I smelled a meal. I looked over and the person next to me was eating what I can only imagine was an onion burrito. It was so smelly I could hardly stand it. I placed a redvine between my upper lip and nose like a mustache and breathed it in deeply. Smelling an artificial cherry scent rather than the Mexican fiesta to my left.

I was dealing with the smell, and the clapping had ceased, so all seemed well again. Until Brad Pitt made his on-screen entrance. Impatient lady REALLY likes Brad you see. Every time she saw his face, bare chest, back, arm, or anything she would sigh heavily, and say "oh, there he is. mmmmm hmmmmmmm." To the point that it was just gross.

Meanwhile a small child sitting a couple seats down from impatient lady decided to eat every piece of ice in his soda cup- with his mouth open. He picked the most inopportune times to crunch that ice. It would be a very quiet and/or emotional scene and you would hear "crunch, crunch, crunch." It was hard not to imagine smacking the ice out of his hand, and throwing the onion burrito to the other side of theatre, and telling impatient lady that "we get that Brad Pitt is hot, but keep it to yourself." Thankfully I did not give into these strong urges, and at some point all these annoyances became a part of the experience. It will probably take a lot to get me back to the theatre, but at least it was for a great movie.

It's Been Too Long

Don't you think so? Apparently my friend Lindsay does. She's threatened (what I can only assume is) physical violence if I didn't blog soon ( she said, "blog, or else"). She's quiet, but I think her "or else" is actually quite scary if you know her well enough, or if you've lived with her, as I have.

I don't have much to say, or even a well-formed blog idea today. But tonight, Kevin and I spent some time being very L.A. Actually, we were being very much ourselves but it fits an L.A. stereotype. Tonight we went out to eat wearing short sleeves, and driving with the windows down in the gorgeous 80 degree weather. We went out for sushi, and then we stopped by Pinkberry for dessert. I had original with raspberries and blackberries, if you're familiar with the system. Anyway As we were walking in downtown Pasadena, everywhere I looked I saw men and women who were near perfection. Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect cars, perfect shoes, perfectly white teeth- you get the picture. Now, it's not as though there weren't imperfect people sharing these sidewalks. The problem (for me) was that the imperfect, or even average individuals were far outnumbered. Outnumbered by women wearing skin-tight dresses that barely covered their bottoms, by men driving hideously bright $100,000+ cars, and everyone filling their cars with bags and bags of merchandise.

Kevin and I talk a lot about what we will do after he graduates. One of the options is to stay here,* but it is hard for me to imagine raising children in this area. Of course there are millions of hurting people in LA county who need salvation. I know that the Lord will guide us as we make our next steps, and if we stay here, I am sure he will provide me with the wisdom I will need to raise a family here. But on nights like tonight, I feel overwhelmed by the excess of LA culture.

*Please note that we still have no idea of what we actually be doing next, or where.