Giving With Open Hands and Hearts

"As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 'I tell you the truth,' he said, 'this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.'" Luke 21:4

What can be better than someone putting their money where their mouth is? I recently read about Sandra Bullock giving $1 million to Haiti earthquake relief. That is a huge donation, and I don't want to minimize that- but. And (as my freshman history teacher would say) it's a big but. Various media outlets report that Sandra makes around $15 million per movie. Which means that in 2009 she made a minimum of $45 million. What's more, her donation has been heavily publicized.

I personally believe celebrity's have a responsibility to give big since they earn big. However my morals regarding giving are shaped by the Bible, and I can't hold everyone to that. It makes me wonder though- what about the single mom who cries over images of orphaned children in Haiti, and gives $10? Her own children may do with less for the week, but she has given what she could and no one may ever know about her donation.

This is a lesson I will probably learn and relearn throughout the course of my life. I am constantly trying to loosen my grip on my money, and on all of my belongings.

I would like to suggest that giving with an open hand, and without expectation of recognition or equal return is more rewarding than just about anything.

I recently told Kevin that I will always tell our children that "you will never regret buying a meal for a friend." It's true, I have never paid and then wished that I hadn't. The conversation, and laughter that are shared over a meal or a cup of coffee outweighs the few dollars spent.

Now I just need to learn to give when I am not directly benefitting from the gift.

Taking My Own Advice

On Wednesday of last week I told my boss that I can't keep working until my due date. Fact is, I'd like to be done with work already. But, I decided to make my last day before leave Friday, which is about 10 days before my due date. I had high hopes of working to the bitter end, thinking that it was the only option. But after Christmas I returned to work, and felt horrible. I am so thankful that I made this decision, and I am looking forward to having a week at home before the baby comes. I obviously won't be disappointed if the little one arrives earlier than that either. But, being my first I assume February 2 or later. In recent weeks my doctor has gone back to the original due date that he gave me, so that if the baby is late we can wait as long as February 18 before inducing. So he says February 4, and I say February 2, or the first week of February. I would really like the baby to have a February birthday, and so in my perfect world (where I control everything) I would go into labor on Sunday, Jan. 31 so that I get to February. I am not sure why- but I'm sort of stuck on February.

Anyway, I think we are done getting ready for the baby. This weekend we bought our stroller/car seat, finished the details of our "birth preferences" to get signed off by our doctor, and given to the nurses when we arrive at the hospital, and we even created a gift basket for buttering up the nurses who are on duty the day I am in labor. It is a cute plastic pink tote that includes four starbucks frappucino's, a bag of mint milano cookies, two bags of dove chocolates (dark and milk) a jar of cashews, and a box of apricot fruit leathers. We plan to stick our "birth preference" document in the gift basket just as a thank you.

How far along? 37 weeks, 38 tomorrow!
Total weight gain/loss: 20lbs., according to my last appointment I lost 1 pound
Stretch marks? sigh
Sleep: Sleep is ok, I get up frequently, my hips hurt from laying on either side too long, and I am feeling anxious about labor which keeps me awake sometimes.
Best moment this week: Peapod's little foot has been sticking out on my right side, and lately I like to run my hand along the heel. Sometimes I can almost make out how long the foot is.
Movement: Movement has slowed as baby and I are running out of room, but I "count the kicks" as my doctor instructed me, and I have nothing to worry about.
Food cravings: I was craving nachos, and fulfilled said craving.
Gender: ???
Labor Signs: Contractions are picking up, and I have started vomiting again, which just says to me that my body is preparing for labor- not that it is beginning!
Belly Button in or out? Innie!
What I miss: brie, I think I'll eat a wedge of brie after I have the baby.
What I am looking forward to: Holding my baby and listening to it as it sleeps on my chest.
Weekly Wisdom: It is SO worth it to get things done ahead of time. I have special hospital toiletries, snacks/drinks for while I labor at home, and I bought some cute socks for walking around the hospital in. Peapod's "going home" outfit is clean and laid out, and I bought a brand new (maternity, because I live in reality) top to wear home from the hospital, and feel pretty in. And also snacks for Kevin to eat at the hospital. You may think I'm crazy, but I feel relaxed and confident about my labor beginning.
Milestones: Pretty sure the baby dropped this week, and contrary to what I'd been told- it doesn't feel better, now I'm uncomfortable in new ways.

I Don't Get It

Warning: This post may sound a little whiney.

I have been sick for 8 days, and yesterday my symptoms changed, and not for the better. My throat swelled, swallowing became painful, and an inspection of my throat revealed an enlarged tonsil covered with icky white spots. Kevin and I both came down with colds shortly after Christmas, which was very frustrating as we had carved out time to set up our new apartment, and make some big shopping trips to finish buying what we need for the baby. We returned to Pasadena only to spend our days laid out on the couch. "Ok," I thought "We'll get over this, and finish getting everything done." But I didn't. Well, I haven't yet. And what's more frustrating is that I have worked hard to save sick and vacation hours for my maternity leave, and I am burning through them as I stayed home yesterday and today. I will go see a doctor today, and I am hoping he can give me something to help get me well. But in the meantime my boss is back in the office today, and I have my final event before maternity leave next Friday. I feel the pressure of needing to get things finished for that event while I am experiencing the reality of being 4 weeks from my due date, and I'm sick. I've felt ambitious through my entire pregnancy to be someone who works until the very last minute. But now that I am four weeks out- my back hurts a lot, and I am tired, and I get contractions when I do too much. And now? I'm not so sure I'll make it through four more weeks of work. I am trying my best to let things go, and take care of my body- it's what's best for me and Peapod, at least that's what Kevin is trying to help me learn.

How far along? 36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 21 lbs. Over the 20 pound mark, but feel good about my weight gain.
Stretch marks? Yeah
Sleep: I still sleep well, praise Jesus. Seriously, I wake up about 3 time a night for bathroom breaks again, but I go right back to sleep after.
Best moment this week: We did get some baby shopping done, including our crib mattress, mattress pad, sheets, bumper, and a few other items. We have been so incredibly fortunate with our purchases, that I plan to devote an entire post to it.
Movement: All the time, and baby is so big now that every once in a while a little rear end pokes out of my side, and I feel little knees and elbows drag slowly across my belly. Sounds weird, but it's actually a lot of fun.
Food cravings: This week I was hit with the craving for beef stew and biscuits, so that's what I ate. I've also been back to popsicles, and loving granny smith apples- peeled and sliced only. I know that probably removes at least 50% of the nutrition, but I hate the skin on a granny smith.
Gender: ???
Labor Signs: Don't think so. I am working off the assumption that I will go on or after my due date, so that I don't get too ancy.
Belly Button in or out? Still in, and with four weeks left, I think I get to keep my innie.
What I miss: Sleeping on my tummy, and getting out of bed without having to roll out of bed.
What I am looking forward to: Holding my pink screaming new born, and falling in love for the second time in my life.
Weekly Wisdom: If you work full-time, give yourself a break, and make the start of maternity leave flexible.
Milestones: 36 weeks = 9 months, technically (9x4) and I am celebrating that!