The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

On Friday, I left work at noon. I had some comp time, and so I made my shortened week even shorter. I was really looking forward to a date night with Kevin, and that's what we had. We ate dinner at a tasty and cheap happy hour, and then we went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I had been wanting to see the movie for quite some time, and I convinced Kevin that it would be worth the money spent (why do movies tickets cost as much as a tank of gas?). I won't say anything about the movie, except that it deserved the 13 Academy Award nominations it received. But you should also read F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story that the movie is based on.

While the movie was great, the actual movie-going experience was even more interesting. Imagine with me, if you will the following.

We arrived about 30 minutes before the movie was set to begin. The theatre employees were cleaning the theatre, and so a large group of us waited for the doors to open. I was surprised to see how many people arrived early. Some of the crowd was restless. A woman and her son walked up to Kevin and I, and another couple standing near us (we were at the front of the line), and she asked us "did someone tell you that we can't go in?" We explained that the room was being cleaned. I wanted to say something more rude to her, insulted that she would question why we were staying outside. But I didn't. Thank God. One woman got tired of waiting and just walked right into the theatre. I thought it was funny, because the employees walked out about 1 minute later. Little did I know that that impatient lady would majorly influence my entire experience that night.

We chose two seats sort of in the middle of the theatre, and only one row in front of the impatient lady. 7:00 on Friday night is apparently the time to see a movie, because the theatre filled up very quickly. A couple sat down to my left, and we all settled in for the previews. During the previews impatient lady would clap- for example, she clapped for a commercial for the Marines, she clapped during a preview for a movie in which Jaime Foxx is starring. She clapped every time his face popped onto the screen. After his preview she exclaimed "Yaaaaaayyyy!" The movie began and her clapping had stopped.

About 30 minutes into the movie I smelled food. Not movie food. I smelled a meal. I looked over and the person next to me was eating what I can only imagine was an onion burrito. It was so smelly I could hardly stand it. I placed a redvine between my upper lip and nose like a mustache and breathed it in deeply. Smelling an artificial cherry scent rather than the Mexican fiesta to my left.

I was dealing with the smell, and the clapping had ceased, so all seemed well again. Until Brad Pitt made his on-screen entrance. Impatient lady REALLY likes Brad you see. Every time she saw his face, bare chest, back, arm, or anything she would sigh heavily, and say "oh, there he is. mmmmm hmmmmmmm." To the point that it was just gross.

Meanwhile a small child sitting a couple seats down from impatient lady decided to eat every piece of ice in his soda cup- with his mouth open. He picked the most inopportune times to crunch that ice. It would be a very quiet and/or emotional scene and you would hear "crunch, crunch, crunch." It was hard not to imagine smacking the ice out of his hand, and throwing the onion burrito to the other side of theatre, and telling impatient lady that "we get that Brad Pitt is hot, but keep it to yourself." Thankfully I did not give into these strong urges, and at some point all these annoyances became a part of the experience. It will probably take a lot to get me back to the theatre, but at least it was for a great movie.